slow cooking delicious pork

Perhaps it's partially because I bought a new cookbook, bought all the ingredients, and spent some serious time cooking, but I think this recipe I tried today was absolutely incredible. It was an asian pork dish that I made in the slow cooker and served over rice. It had garlic, ginger, hoisen sauce, carrots, broccli, cinnamon, clove, and soy sauce. It smelled yummy and tasted even better. I want to make a page linked to the family site that has favorite recipes and quick meal ideas. My new recipe book is for healthy, slow-cooked meals. I love the crock pot.

Robert has been sick for almost a week. He came home early from the Marriot Library today and slept for several hours. I hope he starts feeling better soon.

longweekend soon?

I know teachers are spoiled and get plenty of days off, but I am in desperate need of another long weekend. Spring Break wasn't even that long ago, it's just that with the sunny weather and all the stress these days---I could really use an extra day to recover.

Only about six more weeks of school. I'm getting better at letting go of all the kids at the end of the year. It's becoming part of the whole teaching cycle---new ideas and new kids in fall, hard work all year, and then a spring harvest of students that have grown and finally letting them fly away. The teaching cycle doesn't fit with any other seasonal cycles---but adding those biological analogies helps me see how it's okay for them to move on.

spring cleaning sunday

Well--the sliding glass door drama is finally over, I think. Robert put up some flippy white plastic blinds behind my shimmery gold curtains so that it can be very dark and feel very private. He also took off all the metal rings at the top of the gold curtains. They still look fine. So---he's happy, I'm happy, and we have a nice enough window covering. I'm just glad the whole thing is finished.

The grass is coming in the back yard nice and full, the willow tree already has thousands of little green leaves and the birch tree has buds. We need to mow the front lawn, but we have spent the day cleaning inside, instead.

sad elephants

One of my cutest, sweetest, fourth grade students took ten, very long, emotional minutes to tell me that another student called him an elephant. I was so angry at that other student. He's my new BD kid, though, so I let all my anger go and turned the incident completely over to the office. I warmly welcomed him back to class when Mrs. Price was finished with him.

Partnering

Well. I am not a patient person. Which makes it hard for me to be a team player. And the three person upper grade team next year is going to require my utmost patience. But, I'm not bad at talking a good talk.

The truth: I think things with Jen and Mark next year will be okay. If pushed by nothing more than the fact that Mark loves me, we'll work stuff out. He's even decided on Macbeth---which is exactly what I wanted! I'm optimistic, right now, about the plan, which I might start refering to as THE BIG IDEA. Going into that meeting this afternoon, I wanted my boss to just pull rank and make some assignments already. And I was ready to just deal with how much I'd probably hate how those chips might fall. But she's a much better leader than that---she helped us come up with something that will be really good for everybody and might be really good for every kid. A true win-win-win plan.

Exciting things to consider: a "high" reading class, teaching 5th grade math, all the 5th grade science and social studies core, bringing Mark into our upper grade team, Shakespere, graduation, 5th grade dance!

Fun Times Ahead.

new sports equipment

Looks like I may very well end up teaching either a 3/4 split or a 5/6 split again next year.

It seems that since the written agreement makes provisions for teachers to not be required to teach splits every year, that the district ought to kick for two teachers per grade every year. IMHO.

None of the configurations for next year look very exciting. I'll make myself get more excited, if I must, but for now I'm just in a foot stamping mood.

Orphans

I've picked up a bad habit from Count Olaf (from reading the books, not watching the movie). I refer to my nieces as "The Orphans". I think its funny how Olaf says it about the Baudelaires---"HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, Orphans!!" But, my nieces are real little girls that have lost their mother. They have experienced real life tragedy, not just an entertaining, made-up series of unfortunate events. Maybe the whole adoption thing isn't real enough, for me, yet. I haven't really taken in the fact that these three real little people might soon be part of my immediate family (!!!???). That reality is too big and scary and complicated to digest and so I think of it like a story, like I'm a villanous Aunty Olaf or something funny and ridiculous.

Here are some of the things I most look forward to about adopting three half grown Sudanese women:

1- Girl Scouts
2- Family Vacations
3- Simbe the dad
4- Three new young friends
5- Blossoming bi-cultural identities
6- powerful tides of sisterly love
7- introducing them to the beautiful, rich culture of these United States
8- A house full of chatter
9- Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
10-high school and college graduations

performing identities

Audrey encouraged me to consider doing some sort of "masters degree final project" in lieu of comp exams. Or at least in lieu of the full size comp exams. An exciting idea is percolating along these basic lines: This summer I'll take a group of twleve or so of my students that are going to be sixth graders next year and we'll use that digital video recorder that the school bought and make autobiographical documentaries. I can use the writing/theory work that I've done in some of my classes to frame the project and even to develop some strong curriculum. Hmmmm. Maybe I could write a small grant to fund the project.

One thing I'm not sure how to work out is the isolation of such a project. There will be these twelve incredible students, of course, but I would love to do the whole project with another adult partner as well. But I can't imagine things working out if my partner is somebody from the U who doesn't have any history or passion or commitment to these particular kids. Plus, if it's "my project" why would anyone else want to get involved? Maybe if the grant comes through and we're both getting paid (??) but I need someone who has some background in the theory/rationale for the whole project as well. Tricky. Maybe I do it alone. Or maybe I just consult with Audrey. I should email her about this idea.

plural murder

i think it's such a catchy, excellent title, that i have to write the book just so that there will exist in this world a book with such a great title.

The first session of our writing club, yesterday, was very cool. I'm psyched and wrote another one and a half pages this evening. my goal is twleve by our next session.

I'm a bit nervous because I don't think I can handle very harsh criticism at this fledgling stage I'm in right now. And---I think it might be too hard to revise and write new material at the same time. I need support and encouragement and accountability and goals, and not a whole lot of critique, yet.

Teaching

My sister-in-law is starting a new business venture which includes some very cool, very original ideas. I keep on imagining myself as some sort of entrepenuer. I certainly have some of that risk loving/leadership skills and a creative spirit in me. But I really love teaching. It's very challenging and rewarding. It's the perfect combination of all my passions and interests. I'm an anthropologist, librarian, mathematician, writer, and psychologist every day. And I get to believe that I'm somehow working for social justice. Little human creatures are sufficently complex organisms to keep me enthralled for at least another decade.

Fun Show

Maybe Simbe will come watch Duncan in a "fun show" today---which means that are no points to be won, just practice prancing around the ring with Candi. But even if Simbe doesn't come, we'll have some good Amy and Duncan fun. And, after I am going to Teresa's house to visit with my friends for our monthly women's spiritual group meeting.

Oh happy day.

tendonitis

There is this very important tendon that runs along the arches of your feet. Its job is to help support the arches of your feet. This tendon attaches to your heel bones and on my feet this tendon is being over strained---creating a bone spur to develop and causing inflammation throughout my feet. So, according to my new foot doctor, he simply makes some casts of my feet, sends these mini foot statues to Washington state, and the folks up there will make me some customized arch supports to put into my shoes. The result, according to this new foot doctor, will be relief for my whole feet. I am tentatively hopeful about this simple "cure" for the chronic pain in my feet. It will take about three weeks to get my new arch supports. I'm trying to decide if I should try to stay off my feet in the meantime, or just take the pain and walk Duncan anyway.

In other news---this tutoring program the second grade teacher Heather and I developed is FABULOUS. I am very excited by how empowering and just good good good it has been for both our little and our big students. They are such cute "teachers".

tween day

today is the day between my anniversary and christmas. the favorite part of christmas was singing happy birthday to jesus at midnight with candles and having pita asleep in my lap. The word tween is from Flash. It's an effect you add between two keyframes. I'm learning all about Flash from my best present ever, from David, which is a manual that's teaching me all about Flash through hands on examples. I have these big hopes now, as far as finding lucrative part time work in web design.

lisa's almsot here

So tonight of all nights mom wants to come out and help me decorate my tree. I hope we're not going to get catty about where Lisa sleeps tonight, or where she stays for two weeks. Of course the maternal instincts would make mom want to go with me to pick her up and as much as I want her to stay with me, it's all good, she can stay where ever she's most comfortable.

Duncan's first real show is January 8th and 9th. He's going to have to go up against his brother and two other male dogs I know named Rayce and Nakota. I hope he does okay. He's such a swet heart.

There was this really awkward and funny misunderstanding at school today. A fellow teacher, Heather, who is new this year, told me she met her "girlfriend" for lunch today. She said how her girlfriend will be taking the legal bar exam soon. Like the quick thinking person that I am, I immediately thought to myself very cool, a self-confident lesbian. So, I asked lots of friendly questions about her "girlfriend." Does she intend to practice law in Utah? What sort of law did she specialize in? etc. etc. Heather said that she (the girlfriend) might move to DC and I said, oh, that will be hard. And then Heather said that it will all work out becasue her friend's husband is supportive and will go with her back East. I think she all the sudden figured out what I was assuming and felt pretty embarassed. But I didn't embarass her further by acknowledging the misunderstanding. We just got busy planning how my big kids can become effective reading tutors for her little kids.

my first Christmas Tree ever

Jim came out this morning and took me to a tree lot on 30th South and 7th East, where I bought my first very own Christmas Tree, ever. It is beautiful and fragrant. I'm glad I resisted my urge to invest in a nice fake tree. I love real trees. One of my students who is Dine (Navajo) said that her mom doesn't like to have a tree in the house---which makes sense in a sort of native american, love the earth, and don't kill living things sort of way. But I also think it's okay to support the tree farmers from Montana and to enjoy a beautiful evergreen in the house for one month. Christmas trees feel like a very pagan tradition, although maybe true pagans would also object to killing the tree for such selfish human desires.

Lisa will be here for the winter solstice, which is totally a pagan holiday. We ought to plan some sort of celebration, maybe with real egg nog.

Duncan's head is resting heavily on my left foot. The rice cooker just flipped off so I'm going to have some African style beef stew over rice.

My "special bus" student had his last day with my class, yesterday. What a relief it is to know he's gone. I feel like two weeks is the perfect amount of time that I need away from work, and I predict that when school resumes I'll be able to push myself to teach well and push those kids to read and learn, all the way until May.

mediciney shampoo

I finally quit dawdling and dug into my paper at about noon today. I finished all of my editing and revising around 4:00. I decided not to revamp the whole paper---there was plenty that was worth keeping, and I had absolutely no motivation to start back at square one. I tried to at least address all of my professor's concerns and comments. To release the tension built up in my body when I was finished I gave Duncan his first bath in eight weeks. Now he smells like medicney shampoo, which is a nicer smell than dirty dog. I feel like I can finally start enjoying the holiday season.

Freezing Friday

My sweet angel Robert is all bundled up in a quilt, sleeping on the couch. He asked me why it was so cold in the family room, compared to the kitchen. I think its because heat rises. He finally agreed he could try dressing a little warmer for winter, but he still refuses to wear any socks or shoes. He's worked eleven hour days all week and must be exhausted. He's also getting used to his braces, which he got Monday. He's being brave, but is in a lot of pain right now. He says he can stand the pain on his teeth, but the way they rip up his inner lips is what makes him want to get them off already.

My other angel is whining because he can never decide if he wants in or out of the house. He's out right now and I'm going to sleep soon, so he'll have to just whine. Maybe it will be warm enough to walk him tomorrow.

Our attorney here finally contacted the attorneys in Uganda. That's it, however. Just an initial contact so far. No progress on getting custody yet.

I finished that Pinker Paper last weekend, but even without my professor's feedback, which I'm dreading, I think there are many things that I want to get in and fix.

I do so much of my school work on the computer these days. I grade papers, give students feedback, set up assignments, etc. etc. I'm glad I got to be part of the eMINTS grant.

saturday Morning is green

There's this poetry book that gives all the days of the week particular colors. I think Sat. moring feels green, but just this very second i looked out the window and was delightfully surprised to see sugar shaking powerdery snow dusting my grass and continuing to shake out of the sky. I still feel green, which is a lively, happy color for me, though, because I'm inside my warm house with my sweet dog, writing, writing, writing.

Duncan is a sweet guy, but has recently taken to chewing up the remote control. I've finally figured out an effective response to that behavior by taking kitchen towels and whipping them, very hard, on the counter top and couch. This scares him so bad that he has started treating me more like the alpha bitch that I am. I never hit him, but he does this submissive walk and pose as if I do. He can be such a wimp for such a huge guy.

All my emotions about the adoption process feel pushed out of my mind. I'm too busy with school and my masters class to think about it very often. Plus---it's not really possible to sustain such emotional intensity for a long period of time. Excitement and fear can't be a normal state of emotional being. However---I've been comforted by some strong signals that my feelings are still pretty raw, as i think they ought to be, albeit somewhat subdued. Twice recently, once while watching Step Mom and once while watching Sam I Am, I turned into a big fat cry baby, which I rarely do during movies and certainly didn't do the first time i watched these two films. The themes of dieing and separated parents, and just parenting and child love in general pricked those raw emotions and it was very cathartic to cry and cry. I hope my girls come soon.